These guys are always well-dressed with flashy
cars. Some of them are even from rich homes.
You see them looking like a bag of money,
meanwhile nothing in their bank accounts.
There is nothing wrong with looking good and
not having money to back it up. There is only
something wrong when you are doing it for
packaging. Continue...


1. Always with the fake accent: Apparently, this
is not exclusive to the babes. The male FABBs use
all the accents in the world; British, American and
Nigerian accent all muddled up in one. If they are
talking to a babe who probably lived in the UK
with a British accent, their accent automatically
changes just to impress. Please, embrace your
Nigerian accent, whether it is an Igbo, Yoruba or
Hausa accent, be proud of it. You don’t see an
American man trying to talk like a Nigerian.
2. He only dates working girls: This is a highly
defining character of the male FABB. They do not
date jobless babes. If you don’t have a J -O -B,
then it’s onto the next one. They do not want to
be bothered about taking care of a babe who’s
probably still in school or sharing CV about. That
is not in their dictionary of potential girlfriends.
3. He drives the flashiest of flashy cars:
Warning: Don’t be deceived, the car belongs to
their father or uncle.
4. He always has a political connection: A typical
Abuja boy is always related to some politician or
influential person. The politicians are always their
uncle but hardly ever their father. Sometimes, it
could even be a politician they have met once- he
becomes their uncle.
5. He is a mummy’s boy: Most of the rich male
FABBs live off the wealth of their family who still
pay for everything they own. If you know a guy
who lives in a very expensive duplex in Maitama
but does not have a regular job, check that guy!
They probably even get monthly allowance from
their parents every month as grown men. Hey,
not judging, you do you.
6. He immediately introduces you to his
family/friends: Imagine you meet this nice
looking guy in Abuja, and before you know it, he
has introduced you to his family and friends. In
your mind, you are thinking that you are an iyawo
(wife in the Yoruba language), not knowing you
are girlfriend no. 9.
7. He spontaneously proposes to you after a
short period of dating: They tell you that you are
a wife material or even propose marriage so they
can be living off their new working class babe. You
would cook, clean and before you know it, you
have turned to their provider. Their food, shelter,
and clothing would be taken care of by the
working class babe. They start with “Please,
borrow me N10, 000, I would pay you back.” Next
time, it’s N20, 000 and then it keeps increasing. Of
course, the babe will never get her money back. If
you are guilty of this, it’s not good o! It should be
a joint effort.
8. He only remembers his babe on Thursdays:
This is the time to remember all the hook-ups
they have forgotten from Monday to Wednesday.
They need to get a babe to turn up with during
the weekend. If Halima doesn’t respond, Salewa
will. After all there are many fishes in the sea.
9. He doesn’t have a proper job: This is not
referring to the guys who genuinely work/hustle
for their money from Monday to Friday to make
ends meet. Thumbs up! This is for the guys who
claim they work during the week but people still
cannot point a finger on what they do. On Friday,
they would be the first to update their status with:
“Turn up weekend, TGIF”.
10. He’s always the first to pop bottles in the
club: They are always the first to order bottles
just to impress. When it’s time to pay, they would
remember they have to go to the bathroom. It’s
not by force to pop champagne. After popping
and being forced to pay, they come home to eat
noodles. Bear in mind that the money would have
bought you a nice plate of jollof rice and a big fat
chicken.
So, there you have the Fake Abuja Big Boy.